Sunday, April 25, 2010

Sunday Morning Mayhem

Do not let my calm veneer fool you. Sometimes, there is chaos.  Oh yes, I maintain a spa atmosphere in my home (mmhmm, for reals).  I pipe in the relaxation/meditation music alternated with smooth jazz daily and roll out the love and light like it's free ('cause it is). There's always enough candles and incense going to constitute a fire hazard (of course, I don't let it come to that).  But sometimes, there is mayhem.  When it appears, it comes unexpected and unannounced, as it does for everyone.

If you were following my tweets of Saturday evening (April 24) you know I had a small house party. Just a few close friends; there was wine, there was music and lots of laughter.  We snacked on pita and hummus; various cheeses and champagne grapes.  I served red and white and vodka drinks for those who don't care for wine.  There were various flavored seltzers and juices for my non-alcoholic friends.  It was fun.  Eventually, I traded the jazz for reggaeton as I usually do.  Then there was dancing (holla to my Portuguese roots!).  More fun.

Then my friends opted to move the party to a club; I opted to change out of my dress and go to bed.  I cleaned up the house and left incense smoldering as I climbed the stairs for my respite.

But something happened in the night... My first thought upon waking this morning was how gorgeous the rain sounded on the roof outside my window; see my tweet to that effect. My next thought was how delicious a steaming hot latte would be.  As I made my way down the staircase outside my bedroom door, I smelled... what, exactly? Couldn't say at the time.  However...

This was my first clue that something was amiss.  Readers, I give you Exhibit A: my nephew, M.  No words for how much I adore this boy.  He wears his heart upon his sleeve, he's a big goof (6'3"! constantly silly!) and he's smart as a whip.  M attends school with my son (they're in the same grade) and at present M wants to study medicine, but he's also one helluva cook, so who knows? It may be culinary school.  Point is for me right now, what's M doing on my music room sofa?  What's more, when did the kid get here? I went to bed well after midnight.

The kitchen further told the tale.  Take a look at this. 
Exhibits B, C and D: 
Half eaten sheet pizza, empty cat food containers 
(so they tried to feed the cats??), sink full of dishes. 
What went on here?

I'll tell you what happened.  See that dude to the left?  HE happened. That's my son. And I've seen his handi-work before. Mostly in his bedroom.  Then, sometimes threats (clean this up or you're grounded!) or even bribery (get it done and we can go to Barnes and Noble, ok?) are required to motivate him. He's a teenager; that's how they are. And the mess above? That's what they do.

Let this be a warning to men and women everywhere. You may plan and host a perfectly civilized, even stylish house party some random Saturday evening.  There may be elevated things such as jazz and good wine and exhibits of professionally-trained dancing technique.  Still, teenaged boys may steal into your home after all is said and done, and create the kind of havoc you see above.  Be warned, and lay cautionary plans, now.

At present, the only thing keeping me balanced and sane is the knowledge that the dishwasher is empty (the boys can stack it quickly when they wake up) and cold pizza is fine to eat (enjoy your breakfast, boys!).  Also my entry foyer, the one clean patch in my home, is keeping me sane.  See those stairs behind the pretty table with the pretty flowers, Goddess bust, pretty crystal and candle?  They lead right... back up... to my bedroom!

Peace-out, readers.


6:12 p.m. Update
Behold! The boy is on KP duty, to make amends. Victory. :)


Ann said...

You had me rolling on the floor laughing with that one, Jo Lynne. You do have a way with words and making anything funny! I hope those boys clean up your house and make it sparkle!!! xo Annie

Lily Oak said...

hahaha! I've got a good decade before my two hit the fun teenage years... that said I don't think I ever grew out of them!

Lily x

Ben said...

Very entertaining read Miss Jo Lynne. As you would say you've got quite the range. Your son looks just like you, must have had him early as you don't look old enough to have a teen. Looking forward to your next post. - Ben

Patricia said...

I have stepsons and i understand.

mean mom productions said...

rofl jo lynne, I would probably pull the same thing..though my kids are hitting the preteen stage. No sure if its any better but at least I can get them to pick up immediately.

Oh be watching my lean mean beings blog. I read some really good advice in health magazine this weekend.

Helen said...

I'm with the rest Jo Lynne, ROFL. Give those boys hell!

ParaGoddess Press said...

Wow, everyone... thanks for the comment ♡ luv ♡. I'm so glad I make you smile. :)

And it may further entertain you to know that at present, the housekeeping faeries (aka: the boys!) are tidying up the kitchen! Muahahahahahaaa!

ℐℴ ℒℽℎℎℯ☽♥

Nadia said...

My youngest turns 16 today...I have a 20 year old daughter, an 18 year old son, and my baby girl who is 16 today....I TOTALLY related to your blog.

OMG you go to bed, house in order, your good children all accounted for....and wake up to...chaos....

In my house it is often 'well we couldnt sleep so we decided to eat/cook...."

Apparently they always fall asleep mid-fun.

Cleanup doesnt happen until they wake up and I insist.

The joys and suprises of motherhood may change with their ages but never ever cease. :)

Michael said...

Very funny Jo Lynne. I must agree your son looks just like you and you don't look old enough to have a teenager. Think I'll have to share this one with my 17 year old. Great post.

~Wyked)✪(Syren~ said...

I know that feeling. I live with my fiance and his 2boys...You can have the house spotless 1 minuet..then you turn around and it looks like a tornado hit!

vicky said...

well J Lynne thats one good looking lad you have and he looks well trained in housework too!!